on kinda around and nearby the brain.
But the topic still seems so taboo.
Mostly because I am just a kid, or so I thought.
At what point am I supposed to start to feel like an adult?
I keep waiting.
When I was little, teenagers seemed like adults.
I became a teenager, still felt like a kid.
When I was a teenager, my manager at work seemed like an adult.
I am now older than that manager, still feel like a kid.
I figured, once I graduated college, I would feel like an adult, nope.
Once I got married, I would truly feel like an adult. Still don’t.
Once I have an adult job, once I make X amount salary, once I get a grown up car, once I …. What?!
What turning point happens when I realize I am almost 30 and not 19.
Maybe it is because I am the youngest one in my office, or maybe it’s because I am the youngest one in my family.
Once I have a kid, will I feel like an adult?
Or will I still feel like my mother’s daughter… having a baby.
That stresses me out.
How can I be a good mom, if I don’t even feel like I should be a mom?
I love the show Teen Mom.
I have been watching 16 and pregnant since it started.
On numerous occasions I have been guilty of relating myself to the situations on the show.
Thinking, wow, I’m so glad that’s not me.
Then I realize, um hello?! You are 11 years older, that wouldn’t be you!
It is like I forget; I tie pregnancy into being this bad, awful burden.
Something to avoid at all costs because it will destroy your life.
Well, yeah, it will if you are 16!
Which I am not!
All my life I have been told by T.V., by parents, by teachers, by friends, “Don’t get pregnant”
Naturally this makes sense, because I was young, in school, unmarried and in no position to have a child.
Now that I am “of age,” how do I shake the stigma that haunts me?!
I still have in my head that, “I want kids, when I grow up”
Guess what? I grew up.
So, why do I still feel like I’m 18 years old.
Majority of my friends have kids and some are on their second and thirds.
They seem old enough to me.
It doesn’t feel weird that they are parents and I view them as adults.
I am just having such a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that I am 27 and a full fledged adult.
I am married, I own a home, I have an adult job, I graduated from college.
All of life’s stepping stones have been stepped on by my big old feet.
So what am I still waiting for?