The hubs and I starting our birthing classes this week.
I thought, it was a right of passage and something all new parents signed up for.
After talking to almost all the new moms and pregnant ladies I know, it looks like I am the only one signed up!
With my history of anxiety and worry though, it only makes sense that I do everything I can to avoid a nervous breakdown. Knowledge is power, right?!
So far, I haven’t learned much I didn’t know, but they did make us watch a video.
A birth video.
It wasn’t nearly as gruesome as I remembered the birth video we were forced to watch in 7th grade though.
Unfortunately, what was seen, can not be unseen.
Anyway, let’s get to the part where my husband wants to pretend I am not his wife.
When we first got to class, we were instructed to write down what each of our biggest fears is.
Steve didn’t find my answer humorous when I quickly wrote down
“Not knowing who the father is”
When I wrote this, it was in hopes that we would drop our cards into a hat and the teacher would then read them out loud and it would be anonymous.
( And hilarious)
Instead, we had to go around the room and read them ourselves, so as not to make Steve completely regret ever agreeing to come, I changed my answer.
I must say that even after changing it to something more conservative, it was still probably the most outspoken concern in all of the class.
Most of the expecting parents wrote things like:
“I am worried about stretch marks”
“ I am worried about breastfeeding”
“ I am worried about getting to the hospital on time”
Then I get brutally honest and say:
“I am worried I won’t like my baby, because I am really not a baby person...at all.”
I am sure this mortified the majority of the class.
Leave it to me to bring up the taboo, the unmentionable, the unmaternal -istic of all concerns.
But, hey, that really IS my biggest worry!
I have never met a baby I fell in love with before, so how can I possibly fathom what it will be like to have an instant bond and love for this little screaming, pooping human?!
The rest of the class consisted of me goofing off and whispering things under my breath to Steve in response to what was being taught.
He asked if this was how I handled uncomfortable situations, making jokes of everything.
( i.e. “ That’s what she said” and sketching a baby popping out of it’s 10 cm space… ya know, the usual stuff. )
I said “No, I’m not uncomfortable, I am cleaver, I thought you knew this!”
But also, I was just plain bored.
Hopefully next class will be a little more intriguing.