No one told me that I would have hair loss. Not just a little, but a lot. Leaving me with bald spots around my temples. Now that the hair is growing back in, I have baby stubble around my forehead and the hairline on the back of my head. These fine super short hairs are impossible to slick down and stick out no matter how I style my thinning coif. I want to shave my head. The hair that I do have has become limp and lifeless. Boo. Part of this could also be caused by my thyroid.
No one told me that pregnancy can mess with my thyroid. I have to get another test this month and see is it has possibly regulated its self, but at the last apt. it still hadn't. The pregnancy had forced my thyroid into Hyperthyroidism, which means it was going too fast. Contrary to popular belief that doesn't really help with weight loss much, so there really weren't any pros. It caused me to feel anxious as well as lethargic and sore like I was deficient in iron. After it decided it was done doing that, it switched over to hypothyroidism, which is when is goes too slow. Causing a whole slew of other issues. According to the Dr. it will either self regulate and go back to normal or poop out and die. In which can I will take meds for the rest of my life. Even if it does go back to normal, it can get all messed up again next time I decide to torture myself and have another baby.
No one told me that I would still have to run for the ladies room 9 months later. Yep, that's right, this pregnancy has left me weak in the bladder. Thanks so much. Every time I do jumping jacks I am reminded of that.
No one told me that I would have acne...still! When I was pregnant, my face and back definitely went through a transition from the hormones and I looked like a 15 year old boy. I thought it would have cleared up by now, but since I am still nursing my body is dealing with ever changing hormones which are causing me to break out. I am sure the whole not sleeping thing and eating like crap because I am exhausted doesn't help this either though.
No one told me that I would still be too exhausted to be exhausted. I have help from family and friends but no one can make up for a good nights sleep. What that is, I am not sure... since I haven't had one in over 9 months. Clark still doesn't sleep through the night and I can sometimes get a total of 8 hours, but its broken into at least 2 segments, usually more though. Which makes 8 hours feel more like 2...on a futon...next to a stereo.. on repeat.
No one told me that I would still be up doing night feedings.... did I mention I haven't slept in over 9 months... isn't this how serial killers are born? One or two nights of sleeplessness we can all deal with. We complain and drink our coffee and life goes on. But, 6 days a week of them? It turns your days into night and nights into days, minutes into hours....you don't know if it's Monday or Wednesday and you haven't taken a shower since Saturday so it doesn't really matter.
No one told me that falling in love happens a little bit each day. I thought I would have Clark and that instant connection would happen immediately. At least that was how I hoped it would all go. It hasn't though. I feel like we are still getting to know each other, even 9 months later. Each day I fall in love with him a little more and I think that's pretty normal, but I had no idea that's how it worked.