Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Don't mind the penis on the wall



Well, it's been awhile and I thought, what better way to say hello again than sharing my home search with you! 
I mean, who doesn't want to see torn up drywall and penis graffiti on bedroom walls? 
Yes, you read that right. 
We have gone through a lot of transitions in the last 2 months. 
From finally putting our house on the market to looking at houses in Maple Valley. 
Making offers that were drowned out by other offers, to reevaluating our career path and considering moving to Kansas. 
Where we could buy a MANSION.
 A literal mansion for less than a 1970's split level in Seattle. 

Then coming to our senses and realizing that the Midwest needs to just curl up and die.
 I lived in Missouri once and swore I would never look back. 
And Kansas is dangerously close to Missouri. 
However, they do have Hobby Lobby. 
Their one saving Grace. Pun intended. 

In the end, we did a 180 and are now looking at homes North of Seattle. 
Think Lynnwood ( Lynnhood) Mukilteo, Edmonds, Mill Creek, Snohomish, Lake Stevens area. Yes, a far cry from Maple Valley right?! 
Anyway, the inventory up there is VERY different than what we had been looking at in the south end. 
So different that I just couldn't keep it to myself. 
So, here you go. 
We looked at 8 houses last night. 
None of them will be our future ex wife. 

House 1- Bank owned property aka diamond in the rough...or maybe just rough.
Let's start with the redeeming qualities:


Amazing detail throughout


Granite windowsills 


Chunky molding, arches and general fanciness


Delightful Wood inlays 

The downside?
The last owners obviously left angry and the odd additions and alterations made us think multiple families may have lived here, so it's just kind of an awkward layout.
 OH, and also the house is completely trashed. 
Gorilla glue in all the locks, running water left on to flood the bathroom, BB gun shot through windows, major rat problem in what looked to be a garage bay turned prep kitchen, bad MDF siding and well.....take a look.




Clark says "WTF Mom!"



There was tile here at one time....


Leaky ceiling 


Oh,it gets better. 
Just wait.



Is it food or feces? 
We will never know.









Yum.


Yes, I can see past new drywall and paint.
New windows, doors, trim, appliances, counters, ceilings, banisters, fences and even exploding dicks. 
But for the low low price of 380k ( jokes) I don't think this is my future dwelling.


Will we ever find a place to live?!

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